Okay, in GB they have a tv show called “Britains got talent”, which sports a lot of people trying to impress the audience (and especially the judges, which includes Simon Cowell, known from American iDols) with their skills.

This six-year old girl definitely impressed both audience and judges, as well as me! Take a look, and tell me honestly, if you didn’t got just a little speechless!

First round
The finals

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe is one of the most extraordinary ventures in the entire history of catering. It has been built on the fragmented remains of … it will be built on the fragmented … that is to say it will have been built by this time, and indeed has been -

One of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of accidentally becoming your own father or mother. There is no problem involved in becoming your own father or mother that a broadminded and well-adjusted family can’t cope with. There is also no problem about changing the course of history - the course of history does not change because it all fits together like a jigsaw. All the important changes have happened before the things they were supposed to change and it all sorts itself out in the end.

The major problem is quite simply one of grammar, and the main work to consult in this matter is Dr Dan Streetmentioner’s Time Traveller’s Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations. It will tell you for instance how to describe something that was about to happen to you in the past before you avoided it by time-jumping forward two days in order to avoid it. The event will be described differently according to whether you are talking about it from the standpoint of your own natural time, from a time in the further future, or a time in the further past and is further complicated by the possibility of conducting conversations whilst you are actually travelling from one time to another with the intention of becoming your own father or mother.

Most readers get as far as the Future Semi-Conditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional before giving up: and in fact in later editions of the book all the pages beyond this point have been left blank to save on printing costs.

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe is one of the most extraordinary ventures in the entire history of catering.

It is built on the fragmented remains of an eventually ruined planet which is (wioll haven be) enclosed in a vast time bubble and projected forward in time to the precise moment of the End of the Universe.

This is, many would say, impossible.

In it, guests take (willan on-take) their places at table and eat (willan on-eat) sumptuous meals whilst watching (willing watchen) the whole of creation explode around them.

This is, many would say, equally impossible.

You can arrive (mayan arivan on-when) for any sitting you like without prior (late fore-when) reservation because you can book retrospectively, as it were when you return to your own time. (you can have on-book haventa forewhen presooning returningwenta retrohome.)

This is, many would now insist, absolutely impossible.

At the Restaurant you can meet and dine with (mayan meetan con with dinan on when) a fascinating cross-section of the entire population of space and time.

This, it can be explained patiently, is also impossible.

You can visit it as many times as you like (mayan on-visit re- onvisiting … and so on - for further tense-corrections consult Dr Streetmentioner’s book) and be sure of never meeting yourself, because of the embarrassment this usually causes.

This, even if the rest were true, which it isn’t, is patently impossible, say the doubters.

All you have to do is deposit one penny in a savings account in your own era, and when you arrive at the End of Time the operation of compound interest means that the fabulous cost of your meal has been paid for. This, many claim, is not merely impossible but clearly insane, which is why the advertising executives of the star system of Bastablon came up with this slogan: “If you’ve done six impossible things this morning, why not round it off with breakfast at Milliways, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe?”

I kinda like this stupid girl.. so I keep getting back to her. How pathetic is that? yeah, I know. Quite. Well, I have added a few more spleaks.

Soon after I’ve found out that this Spleak was a bot, it came to my attention, that she wasn’t the only one on my list. Also WSJ, Prof Gilzot, Moviefone and Sharethisdotcom were bots. Very interesting, since I never fancied chatting with bots very much, and I have definitely never added five of them. So after a little more investigation, I found out, that these were automaticly added to a number of AIM accounts. Screw you, AOL!

Update Anyway, I’ve decided to exploit the possibilities of this Spleak girl. So in the menu on the right, you can find a link to all conversations, I’ve logged. I think there will be a new one every once in a while, when I get just a tad too bored. There is four conversations saved there for now. Go to my Spleaks.

So, I decided to give Spleak another chance. I definitely regret that, after a few moments. Now she is deleted from my contact list. I never liked girls without brains anyway ;-)